September 2011
39 posts
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You Meaning I (Me, Myself), Obviously.
Most days there is watching of live streaming video twit.tv. Watching these now familiar presenters/people. Feeling as tho “hey, they’re your friends” Seeing them make each other laugh, observing their arguments, knowing their on-screen injokes, seeing their appreciation/frustration/indifference to the IRC chatroom, them have technical difficulties, talk about patents. You know...
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How Are You?
I have a ridiculous prejudice against feeling OK/alright/good.
When I was younger I developed the belief that happiness is lazy and foolish and it means you have your head in the sand; whereas the disillusioned cynics saw the truth. The news media told you what mattered “The world is a terrible place, what kind of idiot are you to be happy?”. “Happy” people around me...
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Fruit and Relationships
I posted during the day (past few posts) it’s ended up being about fruit and ducklings rather than desperation, shame, pointlessness n all that.
Brief interest in fruit anatomy after reading that of a courgette/zucchini is “the swollen ovary of the female zucchini flower”. Somehow the botanical ovary/fruit connection escaped my comprehension.
Became derailed while reading...
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I back up this Tumblr to the Dropbox. So far is 29 MB.
I don’t much care about the other.
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“Multiple fruits are formed from the fused ovaries of multiple flowers.”
– Fruit anatomy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A pineapple is a “multiple fruit”.
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“I’ve had an unrequited crush for about 2 years now and I’m totally...”
– On having platonic-y crushes
from a comment on this post asexy beast: Totally Romantic! And yet, not!
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Self-delusion. Desperation
Sometimes I — there’s this feeling of dread that although I *think* I’m pursuing my own interests, finding patterns that make sense to me, in actuality I’m just playing other people’s games. Forcing my hand to trace other people’s joined dots while imagining I’m the one drawing the line. In my deluded state I haven’t noticed.
I’ve fooled myself...
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“As our world fragments and changes ever more rapidly, we find that context...”
– Edge Perspectives with John Hagel: The Pull of Narrative – In Search of Persistent Context
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"Collaborator, colluder, apologist"
The idea that you (one) should eschew every tainted thing. Every homophobic/misogynist song you listen to, a bank with “unethical” methods of investing, every “evil” supermarket etc.
Back in the days when I began learning about “the way the world is” I thought that this was possible. People kept saying boycott this thing or that company, I believed it was...
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If only I had ignored all the (spoken and unspoken) “wisdom” the adults around me imparted when I was younger.
I don’t know what else to say. Seems like there’s something missing here.
Hence my earlier point about rarely ever having one (a point).
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Read the phrase “retracted her statements” as “refracted her statements”.
This refraction of statement sounds very interesting.
Through a prism or summat.
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Here I am saying this isn’t working this is my 5th post today.
EDIT: I feel I’m just teasing myself with the promise that — eh, I dunno. Something.
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Blogging
Why am I doing this?
This blogging/tumbleogging thing isn’t going anywhere. It felt as tho it was but now I’m feeling eh,
I don’t like blogging. Feels too formal. Feels like writing in a newspaper.
The formality makes me care too much about appropriateness and correctness and yucky things that set too high a barrier to me writing anything, like, ever.
If I gave less of a...
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I’ve become trapped under the weight of pointless, futile things.
Vacillating every few days between “Yes I can see a way…” to “there’s no kind of life that I want to live that is possible on this earth.”
Usually my conclusion here is “then death is the solution!”, but I guess I haven’t the fortitude for that, haven’t managed it...
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Trawling the Twitterz yesterday, saw link to Dawkins on Newsnight YouTube clip. Watched clip while reading about the meaning on the eighth house in an astrological natal chart (is the house of (re)birth, death, transformation, fears, power and that, fyi).
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20 seconds of Cynthia Levin and Heather Gold from...
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“Those of us who think we know how to use language correctly get bossy, and the...”
– Microstyle: The Art of Writing Little » Blog Archive » What makes language delicious?
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I’m trying to arrange these shapes. Play, sound out these rhythms
How can I.
I am a frightened person.
What is lovely to me, what is wonderful to me, is worthless nonsense to most everyone else.
And I am a cowering person.
