This intricate web of self loathing I have woven over the years, I put down.
Then pick up again, in fear that it’s the only beautiful thing I will ever make.
Too seductive, a tar pit to throw yourself into and suffocate/drown.
Realised that the words “jerk” (used as an insult) and “wanker" literally mean the same thing. Also tosser. "Jerk" to me seems much lower of the scale of general offensiveness than "tosser"; "wanker" would be higher on that scale.
where describes what he means by Hot and Cool/Cold media, cos this I’ve never really understood.
He sez: “A hot medium is one that extends one single sense in “high definition”. High definition is the state of being well filled with data”
Filled with data and therefore definitive, authoritative and giving you little room (if any) for participation/a voice. His eg. - a photograph is high def, a cartoon is low def. (A photo attemps to be visually definitive. A cartoon is not about giving you lots of visual information is, rather, symbolic.)
This brought to my mind the discussions I’m hearing about who gets to call themselves a journalist. “Our official culture is striving to force the new media to do the work of the old” - The Medium is the Massage
The authority of a journalist is perhaps something that belongs to the era of the printed-on-paper-word (world?). “the neat tight package is suited to hot media” - McLuhan.
We’re still here trying to escape the perceived illegitimacy of their own subjectivity.
Did you expect some kind of conclusion here?
I don’t think I want to do conclusions, finality, endings. Not want draw a line under anything. Unless of course I do.
Despite the amount of time I spend being “all about the Art” — see previous post
I actually think “Fuck Art” (Art with a capital A).
These things (formerly known as Art objects) don’t need the hallowed name of Art to justify their existence.
“Why is there a load of bricks lying around on gallery floor?”
“That’s no load of bricks Sir, that’s Art”
“Oh, OK then”
We’ve been in an and era where you had to justify wasting your time and energy making this “useless” stuff by calling it Art.
You’d justify charging people money for original/reproduced Art objects. Justify your existence as a person who makes useless things by having the concept of “Artist making Art” to make it all OK.
These things don’t need justification.
I spent so long wanting to make things and call myself an Artist.
But now I’m like
“Sod this for a game of soldiers. I don’t want to hang the noose of Art around my neck.”
“Just get on and do whatever, stop being tyrannised by this word”.
I don’t want to think about Art any more, but it seems there’s not much I can do about that.
Seriously, “Concept of Art” — please leave me alone.
People criticise some artists as self indulgent (“self indulgent wankers” etc.).
I’m like “they’re artists, they’re supposed to be self indulgent”.
There is no compulsion to listen.
If people aren’t interested they’ll ignore, if they are then they’ll pay attention.
This is how mass media caricatures, stereotypes “the public” and only gives them “what they want”.
In this reaching for universality you so easily wind up with a sham.
Self indulgent being levelled as a criticism presumes that —
Inside yourself is this core of separate, detached, uninterpretable disconnection.
Inside you is noise (not signal) and the commonality exists outside you, “out there”.
It’s not how I feel/understand/perceive (whatever) things.
And not because I don’t know the narcissistic who’s only use for you is to validate them and nothing else, seeing people as objects for their own gratification
But that’s not the same as being self centred.
I’ve spent my life drowning in other people. And it has only ever made me despise them.
The more “self indulgent” I’ve become, the less poisonous other people seem to me.
When you’ve had a history where everything has been a wasteland.
And you’ve slowly come to realise that almost everything meaningful to you means almost nothing to the people around you,
Realised you have to choose to re orientate yourself around the things you value,
Then you hear “self centred” levelled as a criticism, THAT person to you seems like the narcissistic one. Like who the fuck — “you can’t connect with me so I need to become more like you? No, that’s why YOU exist.”
If you take that seriously — well you just can’t.
When you think about all the people who ever meant anything to you —